Zim Dib and Sizz Lorr OH MY
by Senri
Summary: Zim and Dib are in LOOOOOVE lyek OMG But Sizz!Lorr kidnps Zim! Whut will Dob do! (BEWARE BEWARE BEWARE PERVY jokes! AND BLASPHEMY ALSO)
1. The Nightmare Begins

Zim yanked off his shirt. "Look! Look at what the cook did to Zim!" he howled, tears beading in his eyes. Dib gasped in pained horror that infused him with horror. Zim's smooth flawless green chest was flawed with hundreds of millions of gajillions of livid red scars.  
  
"Zim..." Dib gasped, reaching out a trembly shaky pale hand to brush his enemy's (sexy) chest. "Did he do this to you...?"  
  
The alien paused and gave him a funny look. "I just said that didn't I? Anyway," he sobbed again, "Hold me, Dib! Hold me in your strong humany arms to protect me from him again! I came to you, Dib, because you're the only one here I can.. I can TRUST... we're the same really... crushed shells shambling through the tortured blasted ruins of a shameless mean world that want to crush us..."  
  
Enthralled by Zim's agonized vulnerable pain Dib reached out to poke gently at a still-healing scab and Zim smacked his hand away with a gasp. When he looked up at Dib his eyes were like two soulfully jiggling bowls of Jell-o. "Dib... hold me, HOLD ME you wonderful human piece of beefcake... Make me believe that everything is okay..."  
  
Dib paused warily, looking at Zim suspiciously. "This is just a trick isn't it Zim?!" he said. "You know that I've loved you from the moment I saw you so now you try to use it against me!" He gave the alien one last appreciative lustful look. "Well no sirree! DIB won't be fooled, eh!" His voice soared through the registers to mock Zim's. "Let me in so we can do our hair and tawk about boiiz! Yeah right, Zim!" He slammed the door in the alien's face.  
  
Zim knelt, his fighting spirit crushed by Dib's rejection. "Oh Dib... Dib, why? Why do you reject Zim?" Tears poured from his glorious ruby eyes like a river of gooey pink stuff. "I never meant to hurt you by laughing at you in front of the whole school when you said you liked me then shoving you down the stairs so you broke your leg... My emotions.. were just fluttering free, like the careful flight of a tiny new baby bird that hasn't flown... I couldn't accept you then..."  
  
Overcome, he pressed his face against the pavement of the walkway leading to Dib's door. "I'll wait for you Dib... just to prove the pure strength of my love..."  
  
It began to rain. The Invader didn't stir.  
  
LATER THAT NIGHT (STILL AT DIB'S HOUSE) (IT'S 2 AM BY THE WAY TEEHEE)  
  
The clouds were fluffy grey sheep floating around going "Baa" in the dark star-studded night sky. The Irken still sat, crouched pathetically under the awning thing above Dib's door. "Why, Dib..." he sniffed continually. "Why do you do this to Zim? Zim loves you... Zim TRUSTED you..."  
  
With a sudden crackle of energy, a figure stood in front of his. Zim sat up terrified, optical implants reeling from the sudden brightness. "Oh! Who are you? My fairy godmother?"  
  
A deep, horribly horribly familiar voice croaked out aboce him. "Fairy godmother...? Oh no Zim, oh no..."  
  
Zim squealed in horror and thrashed back to squirm terrified. "OH NOE!!!1!!!!!!!!!!!! SIZZ... SIZZ-LORR!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
"YES, Zim!" the other Irken boomed evilly. "It is I! But-" he paused, grinning evilly. "But now you shall call me by my true name. Which is.. HANAGOBARAYOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!" He twirled his spatula above his head and then SLAMMED it down by the tinier alien. Zim squealed pathetically.  
  
"You escaped me once," the cook grated. "But NEVER AGAIN Zim! NEVER!!!! I loved you you see, but you BETRAYED ME! Betrayed SIZZ-LORR, which you won't do no more!"  
  
He reached down, caught Zim by his skinny sensitive antennae. "You're coming with me. And this time you won't escape!"  
  
The frycook blasted into the sky once more, Zim with him screaming. A strain of his wails reached the ground.. "Diiiiiiiiiibbbb...."  
  
Inside the house, the human wept like the rain.  
  
DA END OF DA FWST CAHPTERR!  
  
OMG lyek tahts endd of 1st cahpter R&R plz ;; Kunstructve crit nly!teehee  
  
Many lines here should be credited to jrandomlurker. Sizz-lorr's true name as well.  
  
I feel deeply unclean now. I must purify myself.


	2. More Nausea

Dib crouched in the dark dank hole of his bedroom, tears dripping like precious shining bits of liquid tin foil down his face. He sobbed softly, continually, heartrendingly, sadly, miserably, horribly, to himself, dragging a pointed implement over the marshmallow-white and puffy flesh of his forearm. Lines of red scored deep crimson lines into his flesh; they covered him.  
  
"Oh Zim," he sniffed. "How can you do this to me? How can you leave me? I can't stand to exist without your presence to motivate me... my life is pain..."  
  
He drew with a sigh another gory line down his delicate pale skin. The surface of it was a mass of red, crimson, scarlet, red, but it felt soooo goooooood just to release this tension... to let it out... He couldn't take the stress of skool and family and Zim and losing Zim and Zim and stuff any longer.  
  
His flesh was a glorious gory cacaphony of bloody hues of scarlet that echoed his soul in it's rage and pain.  
  
With a satisfied sigh, Dib put the cap back on the red magic marker and admired his work.  
  
Damn, this was a nice shade of red.  
  
Dib went and opened his door. The hall was a long tunnel of danky doom dampness; pallid luminescent lights flickered at the tops. He shambled insensate like a broken puppet without any strings down the carpet until he got to the stairs stretching before him like the dessicated ribcage of an old dried-out skeleton. The kitchen lights were tiny mushrooms of painful brightness that burned his tender chewy brain with their light. Downstairs, Gaz was an angry zombie, devouring her breakfast cereal in a sullen gloomy haze of video-game burnout and old burned toast.  
  
Ghostly incorporeal hands brushed at Dib's soft manly raven locks as he made his stumbling clumsy way to the ugly refridgerator. The maw of the kitchen receptacle opened to reveal a paltry bare row of shelves that didn't have any food on them. "Gaaaaz..." Dib whimpered. "There's nothing to eaaat... PAIN..."  
  
And the blaring loud cheery cherry smell radiating from his tortured skin was prompting thoughts of self-cannibalism. He was, after all, delicious.  
  
"Oh God!!!!!" Overcome by tears, Dib knelt, weeping. "Is there no mercy for my soul in the world? Huh? HUH?! Everything hurts me! There's never any mercy! Look," he stumbled to his feet, turned to bare his skin to his sister. "Look, Gaz! If I were STUPID ENOUGH to cut myself HERE'S WHERE THE MARKS WOULD BE!"  
  
Gaz looked at him with her doelike tea-colored gold eyes. She pushed her bowl away. "Oh Dib," she whispered. "What have you done to yourself? Why don't you go wash off?"  
  
"GAAAZ!" he wailed, 'hurk'ing and making little painy noises. "My pain! The loss of Zim! What have I done?! Why didn't I accept his love... he asked me to take care of him! Why didn't I?!1!!! Why?! WHYYYYY?!!!!"  
  
(NOW WE'RE GOIN TA SIZZ!LORR AN ZIM! TEEHEE :D)  
  
"Oh Dib," Zim whispered, folding his arms tightly around himself. It was cold in the ship, cold reaching down to his spooch. Cold cold cold. He couldn't get warm. Cold striking him like an arrow. Cold. Mmyup. "Dib, why didn't you accept me? Couldn't you believe in... me... couldn't you believe in my... love... Oh, Dib, do you hate me? Please don't hate me Dib... I'd give anything to be held by you... for your repulsive soft humany lips to touch mine... for your strong humany arms to hold me again... Dib..."  
  
Sizz!Lorr turned to his luscious prisoner from the control panel. His flowering amethyst eyes were lit from within with a wicked light at Zim's effeminate shapelessness and he advanced on Zim with a huge Cheshire grin that bared his huge white teeth that were whiter than white like bone kinda. Yeah.  
  
"Pining, ZIM?!" He sneered, the plum orbs set deep into his face flashing mauvish in the light from the red hanging paper Oreintal lamps that were made out of paper. "How very UNLIKE you! Well," he sneered, eyes going stony like purple gems, "it will do you no GOOD. You serve me, Hanagobarayome, now!"  
  
"I thought I was supposed to call you Frylord!" Zim sniveled.  
  
"SILENCE!!!!!1!!!" the taller Irken roared, eyes flaring wrathfully. "NOW, Zim... take this spatula... and you know what to do from there..."  
  
DEE END OMG THE SHUSHPENSE ISH KILLER  
  
Many thanks to Jrandomlurker for lines and advice. She's contributed wonderfully to the awfulness of this fic. :D


	3. I Apologize in Advance

Dib wandered far from his home, across the dusty streets. Purposeless and alone as a hunk of floating metal lost in deep space clasped to the bosom of deep space. Zim's house loomed a mint popsicle specter before him.

The iron-haired boy stood a lonely solitary sentinel before the dehydrated dun grass of Zim's lawn dotted with hulking spectral lawn gnomes. He stared a disconsolate statue of empty loneliness at the head of the walk before Zim's house. _You left me for another, space boy... after telling me you loved me... and now I feel so alone without you... so empty without you... so pointless without you... so alone... my pain..._

_Where do I go now? And what should I do? What's to become of me, without you?_

_My enemy, my friend... couldn't you see, that in my eyes, it's no surprise, that you're the sunrise, and the sunset, of the world to me. I gave you my all, and you let it fall. I don't want to go to the mall, or to restaurants, without knowing I'll see your ugly face, and then we can race, winning by grace_

_Of God..._

_Where are you now?_

_Oh my love, where, oh my love, oh where are you now?_

Dib's eyes filled with shimmering opalescent tears as pure as distilled water. Distraught, the noble guardian of terra firma fell like a rootless tree to his knees before the innocently abandoned house of his enemy and his love. "Oh Zim," he sniffed. "I love you like I could never love anyone else. Why did you leave me? WHY? WHYYYYY?!?!?!?!?!?! Why did you leave this earth? And the house? And that weird robot of yours? And... and ME? Me, most of all..."

Slowly, ponderous as Willy after eating six helpings of school cafeteria food, the noble guardian of terra firma rose to his booted feet. His eyes still shimmered with humidity but with nobility and grace he kept himself to a few childish sniffles. He picked up a foot and set it down. Then he did that again, and again, and again. Hobbling until he was in the middle of Zim's lawn. The gnomes stayed rooted, torpid ugly fungi protruding from Zim's lawn. In their master's absence the shattered machines stayed inert and dull oblivious to the defender of earth striding nobly amidst them. His trench coat dragging dully in the dust Dib plodded docile and disconsolate towards the door of the demesne of the explorer drawn from deep space. In his pocket he could hear the rattlesnake rattle of an urn filled with dry reddish pills... the pills Dib would use, to end his suffering... now that he was no longer needed...

The restroom sign emblazoned boldly on the entrance swung out of sight as the noble guardian of humanity's alma mater pranced inside Zim's house. He looked about him, eyes swollen and red, hands a-quiver. The upstairs was as empty as his tortured soul. Slowly he plodded towards the garbage can... the heart of his enemy's base would be his final resting place... the heart of Zim's base was the closest he could come to being in Zim's heart... the only place he really wanted to be...

Nestling himself in the chairs padded with pillows as soft as clouds that were like sheep going baa Dib opened the pills, spilling a handful like pieces of medicinal hail into his slender, girlishly slender yet masculine and strong hand. He lifted one to his lips and swallowed weakly. Did it again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again until the bottle was empty and he was curling up in the chair to die because his life was empty and filled with pain because he didn't have Zim there to assuage his myriad hurts inflicted upon him by this cold and unloving world that we all have to live in no matter what except if you commit suicide like Dib which is a bad thing to do because you leave behind loved ones who'll miss you except Dib didn't think he was loved at all except for Zim except Zim didn't really love him and left him for a frycook so he was going to commit suicide in his base so he could be close to his love when GIR popped his head into Dib's face. "HI THERE WELL ENDOWED BOY!!!1!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" GIR screamed at a pitch to deafen small children and puppies. "WHATCHA DOIN? MASTER LEFT FER A HUNNYMOON WITH A FLOWER BRIDE AND SOME KITTIES BUT HE MYTE BE BACK SOOOOOOOOOOOON SO MAYBYA YOU SHUDDEN BE IN DIS HERE HOWS BECUZ KITTIES LIKE TO EAT BAD LITTLE BOIZ WHO GIT IN PPL'S HOWZEZ!!!!!1111!"

In the corner a noble high-stepping pink unicorn pig with a frilly saddle pranced and snorted up carrot juice.

"GIR!" Dib shrank like a kitty back into the seat. Tears wrung from his eyes like bilge water from a soaked rag. "Oh GIR! It's too late! Too late for me!1!! I can't go on!" He pulled the screaming robot closer, closer to his heart, to his slowing heart, to his deadening pulse. "Listen GIR! I'm dying... dying... all because Zim couldn't return my love... for that I will end my pitiful roachlike existence... for Zim..."

"GAWRSH U SURE R S1LLY B1G H3D B0Y!11!!!!!!" GIR caterwauled like a raging cat. "Z1M SUR DUZ LYK3 U CUZ H3 S3D S0 WH3N 1 4SK3D H1M N1C3 FER T4C0S!1!!!!! T4COOOOOOOOOOOOS!! HE SURE DID TALK TO HIMSELF A LOT! LOT ABOUT U, BIG HED BOI! HE SURE LIKED U! He said, "I sure do like me the Dib, GIR! You know it! You know it! You know I wanna show it! But I can't! I can't! Even though I want into his hu-man-ey pants! 'Cause he don't love me, you seeeeee! He sure don't!""

Dob went pale as a piece of lumpy candle wax with shock that ripped him down to his shriveling dying core. "He loved me? He said he loved me?"

The noble guardian of terra firma leaped to his small booted feet, nimble as a kitty. "Oh! He truly loved me?! He truly did?! He wasn't lying?!?!?!?!?!"

Shimmering tears of pears filled his goldenrod eyes suddenly. "How I misjudged him! And now I lie dying, here in his last fortress on earth, when Zim NEEDS me! He really NEEDS me! Zim could be in trouble! Only _I _can save him from this dark creature who's stolen him from me! Quickly, GIR- while my heart still pulses with the warm strength of life in my breast- quickly, we must go! –And rescue him if we can, most certainly! Come, GIR! Your master is in peril, and muchly in need of our aid! Quickly now!"

Quickly as a leaping black gazelle he hopped skipped and jumped into the elevator which whooshed him to the surface of the earth far from the womblike chamber that Zim laired in to plot his plots of evil. "Now, GIR! You must help me! The force of my LUV will guide me to Zim, but I can't do it alone! YOU need to TAKE ME THERE! Take me there so I can rescue the LUV OF MY LIFE!"

The lawn was a pulsing mat of verdancy and life as Dib leapt like a deer given a severe electric shock to the center. The diminutive verdant minion hound of Zim's he set down. "Now, GIR! This is it! Take me! Take me to the STARS!"

"O-oo-ookeedokee well-endowed boy!" GIR squealed. "Mount up, and let's GOOOOO...!

Dib lifted his gargantuan head, swollen with dreams of luv and happy homes together with his luv, to stare at the sky. "This is it... I'll ride into the stars on YOU, GIR... and together we'll find Zim..."

A spark of heavenly light caught his eye, tracing it's bright way down the bowl of the heavens. "Oh!" He cried. "What's this? What's this? Is it a beacon, called by the strength of the LUV in my heart to guide me to ZIM?! It is! Verily, and henceforth, it IS! Shall we go on, my noble hound? Come, GIR! Tallyhoe!"

With this final rallying cry the noble defender of terra firma leapt to the back of his noble canine steed. The jets affixed to GIR's back lit up like stars, like two ready-to-blow pimples hit with a shot of Acne Blast, and the two shot upwards, given strength and fortitude by the power of our heroes' LUV. (a/n: hic shakes fist at reviewers Y... Y'want GIR?! I'll... Ill give u GIR!!)

The piece of space debris smashed deep into the verdancy of Zim's green lawn, sparking and cracking, turning up towards the moon to reveal a sinister logo... the logo of the Irken Fast Food Corporation...

...Hanogobaroyome's symbol.

Far below, the ghost of Dib's mother watched her son disappear into the shifting night. She smiled palely, secretively, eldritch and fae. Her ghostly long purple locks swept the earth and got ghost dirt (a/n: yah drt dyez! Dn't rgue wit me meenieheds!!1!!) in their ends as she turned to follow the progress of the two adventurers. A gentle smile infused her features with heavenly light. _"Sally forth, my bold son... sally forth with the power of LUV at your command, the power of LUV that I gave you... and go rescue your true LUV..."_

GIR and Dib disappeared into the bosom of deep space.

DA ENDORZ UV CHAPTA 3 OMGWTFBBQ

_Apologies for the long wait. I hope this chapter lived up to the others, in terms of humor... most especially I worry for the beginning. And now, I offer you a quick anecdote to impress upon your minds the importance of reviewing stories._

_Under my computer chair, there lives a monster. A review-eating monster. It is of the most IMPERATIVE importance that I get reviews to feed him- after all, if he goes hungry for TOO long, who knows what he would turn to eating...? My limbs, probably. My hands. So I wouldn't be able to type. I'm sure you can see where this is going. So plz review! Plz save my limbs!_

_November 8, 2004_

_J. Random Lurker can't be thanked enough for her help with this._


	4. Just when you thought I couldn't get wor...

_A SHORT NOTE: yes, this is a songfic chapter. Now, usually when I read songfics, I skim the lyrics… at most. However, I request that you read them in this chapter, because they're a unique part of this parody experience. The song is My Heart Will Go On, by Celene Dion, and I make no claims upon it. Thank you._

Elegantly the two heroes blitzed like comets a white line across the dour face of black space filled with tiny stars. Dib's dark form clung nobly to the back of his hound-steed, arching like a rainbow towards the deepest doomiest pits of the solar system… away from the glaring sun's glaring eye… back towards the deepest deep of deep space.

Tears froze like shining white saran wrap against Dib's pale cold face, pale with the implacable need to reach his lost lover trapped with a frycook. _I do this for LUV,_ he thought, his manly heart thumping tenderly about, almost paralyzed by the reaching cold groping fingers of deep space… _I do this for LUV for YOU, ZIM! Wait for me… wait for me… wait, so you can tell me I LUV you back…_

Ponderously as a broken puppet missing strings, Dib's pale slender feminine yet masculinely strong fingers loosened their grip on GIR's fuzzy black ears… slowly, the pale defender of terra firma's torpid form was released to twirl like a frozen ballerina into darkness… his frail human body unable to keep going any longer in the frozen cold of deep space (also, jittery from the sugar rush of the skittles Gaz had switched with his suicide pills! Teehee!)

_------_

_Every night in my dreams_

_I see you, I feel you,_

_That is how I know you go on_

_-----_

He dreamed, as he spun in a torpid dance across the stars. He dreamed, as his internal organs twitched and sent little throbs of conflicting agony like strobelights and thumping music into his brain. He dreamed of his LUV, and all the happiness they would have together…

-----

He dreamed of a ship, swallowing him up like a dragon, except a dragon that was boxy-shaped and made out of metal…

"All right, Zim… take this spatula… and you know what to do…"

The diminutive green extraterrestrial whimpered softly, hefting the shining metal try in his crab-tiny hands. His slender frame strained at the sheer weight of it, as the diminutive alien strained to do as his master ordered… Hanagobaroyome groaned in pleasure, watching the diminutive invader's contorted face. "That's right. Like that. Just keep stirring like that…"

Zim whined deep in his throat, humiliated beyond belief. Oh, this couldn't be happening, this just COULDN'T be! Where was DOB, the human, his beloved human worm-monkey stinkbaby puke-creature, to save him from this? Where was DOB, his LUV…?

"Thought you would leave this behind on Foodcourtia, didn't you?" the frycook rumbled. "Well, ZIM, there's no escape! None! Not at all! No escape for you! No happiness for you! No LUV for you! None! None! None! None! None! NOOOOOOONE!" He belched like a lion full of steaming hot meat from a zebra, except more like a lion who had just torn out the remaining hopes and dreams of one handsome young irken and eaten them, except maybe his heart could symbolize that right? Anyway. "Now ladle me up another bowl of that splookyplorg," he grunted. "It ain't half bad."

Zim snarled to himself, wedging up a slab of the vicious muck that Hananobaroyome was making him cook. "YES, my FRYLORD! Your COMMAND is my only WISH! UNNFGRR!"

(a/n: yeah, pretty sick huh?)

All the diminutive invader could think about was Dib, his LUV, and how the human must be coming for him, had to be coming for him, hearts beating across the distance like magnets, pulling LUV to LUV, purity to purity, strength to strength. OH, but would Dib still LUV him now that this vile frycook had touched him? Would the PURITY AND FUROR of their passion still draw, when Zim was… no longer… pure?

Oh Dib… Dib, my LUV, you must rescue me, you simply MUST!

The tiny alien stared blankly into space, oblivious to the huge smile with big white teeth that were whiter than white like bone kinda on Sizz-Lorrs face and the huge mitt-hands reaching for him…

_-----_

_Far across the distance_

_And spaces between us_

_You have come to show you go on_

-----

Slowly Dib removed himself from his torpor of cold like a snake awakening from hibernation. "Wherefor am I…?" he whimpered. "Where doth my LUV be? My LUV, he needs me, forsooth… I cannot lie broken now…"

Slowly the broken child rolled to his dainty booted feet, his heart stirring with energy. His glazed golden eyes enfixed in a face that was surely inherited from a Greek God took in the weird contours of the area around him with dread. "Wherefor am I…? Wherefor…?"

The place was enshrouded in smoke, a mist that fuzzed and blurred the edges of everything around him. Lightheaded, the noble defender of terra firma strode confidently out into the hallway…

In the main room, which his room had been attached to by some amazing fit of convenience, a group of weird aliens was gathered. The smoke was thick as from a wildfire, and strange lights burst and flared in the defender of terra firma's head when he breathed it. Delicately he wheezed.

Nearing the center of the strange gathering, there was some bizarre creature… some creature with curling horns and shiny goggles reclining like a cat that had just eaten like six birds and was now having extreme indigestion or something… some bizarre creature reclining in a squishy chair.

Dib blinked. The SmOkE wAs DoInG fUnNy ThInGs To HiS bRaIn…!!1!!!!!!!!1!eleventlyone!!!!... "Zim," he whispered helplessly, falling to the floor, which had grown tentacles and was trying to make out with him. "Save me… from cliché anime tentacle rape… wait, what am I saying?" He couldn't understand… one of the tentacles grabbed his ass. It was kind of like being back in the nightmare world again, with straitjackets that tried to molest you. (a/n: please, please don't hurt me.)

_-----_

_Near, far, wherever you are_

_I believe that the heart does go on_

_Once more you open the door_

_And you're here in my heart_

_And my heart will go on and on_

_-----_

"Woah lyttle maaaaaaaaan!" somebody boomed. "The snooxy a little strong for you yet, eh?"

Some horrible specter loomed before him, a cone that hovered and turned torturously, unable to track, hypnotizing his mind. "Bloohlrrrrrrg," Dib drippled in reply. "Umblaoesieh? Thhhhhp."

"C'mon little buddy!" The other giggled. "Whyn'cha come talk to da BOSSSSSSSSS-MANNNNNN? He'll know what you oughta do, you betcha! Werp!"

"Mmmblurp?"

_-----_

_Love can touch us one time_

_And last for a lifetime_

_And never let go till we're one_

_-----_

Zim screamed and squirmed in horror. Hanogobaroyome picked him up by the feet and slammed him headfirst into the wall. "Shut up, Zim, k? It's just Yuki, GAWD. Get a grip."

What creature of horror and nightmare stood before him! What dementia, what horror, what nausea! Oh! Oh! Unbearable torment!

"She's just a SEX SIR, GAWD. Calm down, OHKAY? What is the PROBLEM HEYEER? Eh? Eh? Eh?"

Zim peeped, "I will only allow DIB to LUV me!"

(a/n: please don't hurt me for this either)

And then, scrambling like a spider, Zim extruded his paklegs and bolted for the exit, tongue flapping. Hanogobaroyome sighed, patted his SIR on the head, and ran after him.

_-----_

_Love was when I loved you_

_One true time I hold to_

_In my life we'll always go on_

_-----_

"Man," Lard Nar sighed after he had heard Dib's sordid tale… "Have I got a bad case of the munchies."

"SNACK CALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!" several aliens screamed, making a mass rush for the ship's kitchen.

Lard Nar snuffed the smoking incense with a look of deep regret, then turned to the young man who was staring anxiously at him. "Now, my boy… we must think on your problem…"

Dib let out a sigh of relief. Finally, those tentacles were leaving…

"But wait!" he cried, coming back to the human plane of reality. "Wait a moment, friend! Whereever did you find out about my plight? 'Cause I haven't told it to you yet."

"Oh, we found your doggie," the Vortian replied, waving a hand comfortably. "Cute little bugger, and he sure knows how to mosh, don't he?"

Dib tried not to think about it. "Okay, but what can you do for me? WILL you do this for me?"

Lard Nar leapt like a lightningbolt to his pointy little feet. "Never let it be said, Dib, that I, Lard Nar, the head of the Resisty, will deny the power of LUV! It must be destiny for you and this Irken, whoever he is, to have met, and destiny will bring you together! The two of you… will overcome."

Swept away with EMOTION, Lard Nar bowed his head. Shaken to the core, Dib sat… thinking…

"Oh Lard Nar! You are right… thank you… thank you so… I'll never be able to repay your charity…

_-----_

_Near, far, wherever you are_

_I believe that the heart does go on_

_Once more you open the door_

_And you're here in my heart_

_And my heart will go on and on_

_You're here, there's nothing I fear,_

_And I know that my heart will go on_

_We'll stay forever this way_

_You are safe in my heart_

_And my heart will go on and on_

-----

Not so very far away, Zim pressed his bare hands against the window and wept. "Dib… Dib… my love… you must come…"

END

_That… was horrible. Well._

_Remember the under the chair monster, think of my limbs, and REVIEW!_


End file.
